Posted on June - 25 - 2011

Working Best: How to project confidence on the job

Q. I’m an accountant in a largepany and was just passed by for a promotion. The person they chose seems to focus on what I see as superficial behaviors: smiling and shaking hands a lot; positioning himself near the boss at meetings and generally projecting a take-charge attitude. I’m more reserved, and actually think I get more done and have better ideas than he does. But I’m wondering — am I missing something important in my career? — James C.

A. There’s nothing wrong with being reserved and on the quiet side, as long as we still project confidence and capability.munications expert and consultant Jack Griffin reveals what to say and do on the job to get noticed in his book, “How to Say It at Work” (Prentice Hall). His chapter on non-verbalmunication reveals 12 essentials of non-verbalmunication to consider when you want to make a good first impression. Here are a few:

Make an effective entrance. How you enter a room makes a powerful statement about who you are and how you see yourself — your self-image. For some, making a powerful, positive first impressiones naturally and is easy. But even if making a positive entrance and effective first impression is difficult for you, it’s a lot easier to make a positive impression than it is to undo a bad one. Enter a room with your head held high, and greet people warmly and easily — without groping for words.

Walk tall (even if you’re short). It’s a fact: Tall people tend tomand greater authority than short people. But whether you’re tall, medium, or short — stand tall, and act it. (It wouldn’t hurt for shorter men to wear shoes with built-up heels and for shorter women to favor high heels. It’s also generally a good idea for short men and women to dress in ways that appear to make them taller.) Avoid boxy-looking tailoring and horizontally-striped patterns. Shorter men should avoid baggy, loosely cut pants, and shorter women should favor longer hemlines.

Enter with a purpose. Far more important, however, is to practice walking “tall.” This means never entering a room or approaching another person in a cringing, stooped or slouching manner. Maintain an erect posture as you make your entrance, without hesitation, and with a purposeful stride. How do you acquire a “purposeful stride”? Have a purpose, and know where you are going. Always. Everywhere. Approach anymunication with a specific purpose and objective so you won’t appear hesitant or absentminded. The message you want to deliver: You know what you’re doing.

Smile. Walk into a room — and down halls — smiling. A smile is an invitation. Anything less than a smile sends the message that you have little or nothing to offer, and that you are receptive to little or nothing. Begin by relaxing. Before you make your entrance, glance downward, move your jaw around, then move your tongue vigorously around the inside of your mouth (this loosens the jaw muscles). Inhale deeply, hold it and then let out your breath forcefully. Do this a few times. When your facial muscles feel relaxed, think about something or someone or some place you enjoy. Imagine pleasurable times, people, and places. Then enter the room.

As soon as you approach anyone, look him or her in the eyes. This aplishes two things. First, it’s a proven token of openness and honesty. Second, eye contact instantly transmits energy. We’ve all heard people speak about the “sparkle” in someone’s eye, as if that sparkle were an unusual thing, a thing that made the person seem special. Actually, all of us have a sparkle in our eyes, but it’s rarely noticed because many people don’t make full eye contact when they meet or speak, and full eye contact is needed to make that sparkle visible.

Give a great handshake. Most of us remember the handshake of someone we’ve met, because it was exceptionally warm and powerful or, worse, cold and dead. Either way, it made an impression.

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