Business Flip!Flip Business Flip

Q: For the first time in years, I’ll be sharing office space, part of our company’s drive to cut costs and build teamwork. I enjoy my privacy, so it feels like I’m back in college, getting ready to meet my first roommate. How do I make this work? –Steve M.

A: Getting used to someone else in “your space” can be a problem, especially if your personalities don’t mesh. If the two, or three, of you hit it off right away, count your blessings. But it’s more likely that you’ll both have some adjustments to make.

Once you sense there’s a potential for a personality clash, see if you can’t describe it in writing. What don’t you like? How do you feel when you interact with this person? Try to recognize up front that you don’t have to have similar interests or be best friends to get along. You don’t have to have him or her over for dinner. You just have to work together. With this in mind, list what you might do to be flexible in the situation.

As soon as possible, set time aside, perhaps over coffee or lunch, to talk with your new office mate about potential differences — such as privacy; answering the phone; visitors (how often; how long they’ll stay; how they might distract you, etc.; arrangement of space and equipment; office neatness; even personal habits, or quirks, if necessary.)

Talk first about what you both like, and probe for areas of compatibility. Getting to know each other’s interests can be good building blocks in a new relationship. Find out about the person’s career background and plans, hobbies, education, special interests — and a little about his or her family (but make sure you don’t pry into personal areas.)

Discuss any differences tactfully, as you would with your partner or best friend. As soon as you start to see the person as your “enemy,” you’re in trouble.

Start this part of the conversation with something positive, then lead into the issue you’re concerned about. Use “I” statements, noting what you like and don’t like, rather than “You” statements where you point the finger at the other person: “John, I’m glad we both believe we should do as much business as possible on the phone. At the same time, I have some trouble focusing when you’re on the phone, possibly because you have a stronger voice than I do, and I wonder if there’s something we can do to minimize any phone distractions we might cause each other.”

Look for ways you can be considerate of each other. If you like to work with music in the background, give headphones a try.

Don’t:

Pry into your office mate’s personal life unless you’re invited, and you want the relationship to go in that direction. (You can’t let someone know you want to hear about their problems with their children, then shut down on the topic two weeks later.)

Think you have to be best friends or depend on each other to satisfy emotional needs.

Expect her or him to conform to your standards or accept your beliefs. You’re not married to each other — you just work together.

Ask someone else in the office to fix the relationship.

Assume anything. Office mates may have no idea their behavior bothers you, just as you may find it hard to believe some things you do bother other people.

Make demands or give orders, or expect things like their remembering your birthday.

Do:

Have — and show — positive feelings about yourself and your office mate. Make sure the authority arrangement between the two of you is discussed and accepted. An office mate may wrongly assume he or she is a level above you, and expects to be treated that way.

Project a positive self-image, and send messages to the office mate that build and maintain his or her self-esteem. Listen with empathy, even though you may disagree with the point being made. Offer support for their ideas, but don’t take on any of their responsibility. Freely share your ideas, reasons and feelings about issues to build openness and trust.

Bill Repp is president of Organization Development Group. E-mail him at billrepp@rochester.rr.com.

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